SGC Regulations and Jonas' Dare
by HyperCaz
Summary: One day after a mission, Jack O'Neill thinks he catches Sam and Jonas flirting so decides to be a chaperone, not realising the truth. JS


Disclaimer: Don't own it, sorry, wrong door.  
  
Finally, another mission over. Jack O'Neill never considered it complete until Dr Frasier relented and let them escape the infirmary. And there was no way he'd live out the current downtime without a decent amount of coffee, the strong type mind. He didn't much fancy the watery coffee that most scientists and medical staff seemed to survive on.  
  
Jack filled up his coffee jug and inspected it closely. Dark colouring - good. Hearing voices bouncing down the corridor, he tucked himself into the corner of the bend in the passage. If word got around that the Colonel drank coffee, he'd never hear the end of it.  
  
"I just don't see what's wrong with my coffee, Jonas," Samantha Carter protested as her companion led her by the elbow to the coffee station.  
  
Jonas Quinn shook his finger at her playfully,  
  
"And I just don't see how you can live on that stuff in your lab."  
  
She hadn't the strength to muster up a glare to that and took the offered cup without complaint. Jonas watched her, checking for a response. Sam put the now empty cup down and demanded,  
  
"Your point being?"  
  
"Taste good, doesn't it?" Jonas grinned.  
  
From the shadows, O'Neill rolled his eyes. Just like them to waste downtime by heading staright off to a lab. He heard Carter shift nearby and a punch the newest SG1 member on the shoulder. When would they quit? Even a blind man could see them flirting. Wait, why did he care if Sam was flirting with Jonas? Maybe they were just being chummy.  
  
Sam thought about his question for a moment and shook her head,  
  
"No, I'm not going to try to answer that. Don't you dare try to convince me to take a break. It's what we scientists do - live on two hours sleep a day and a pot of cold coffee."  
  
"That doesn't even taste nice," Interjected Jonas, "Isn't anyone on this planet normal?"  
  
Jack wished they would hurry on - he didn't know how much more he could stand of this. Sam muttered something he didn't catch and Jonas laughed. Gritting his teeth, Jack admitted that he didn't particularly want these two hanging together. Jonas was a nice kid, but he had to learn that maybe Carter only wanted to be a friend, nothing more.  
  
Jonas again put a hand on Sam's elbow,  
  
"Plan B, then?"  
  
"What's Plan B?" Sam asked curiously.  
  
He winked at her and began leading her up the corridor. Jack only barely managed to hear Jonas say,  
  
"Proper food in a proper restaurant. Coffee can only do some much in a situation like this."  
  
O'Neill, against his better judgement, followed and tried to catch snippets of what they were saying. Sam had refused to leaving the base and both had decided to check out the cafeteria. There would be no one there at this time of the night and that's what Jack was afraid of. To hell with it - he was going to stop the kid doing something stupid.  
  
~~~  
  
Jonas and Samanatha Carter were sitting in the dim cafeteria, talking quietly about everyday subjects when Jack O'Neill made his appearance. Attempting to look casual, he dropped by their table,  
  
"Carter, Jonas, a little late for scientific exploration, isn't it?"  
  
"Not at all, sir," Sam replied impishly.  
  
Jack shrugged and made his way over to the darkened selection of snacks, muttering to himself,  
  
"Wonder what the topic is? Probably chemistry. Peachy."  
  
To Jonas' and Sam's embarrassment they both heard him though it was clear they weren't meant to. Jonas looked down at the table, overcoming his initial discomfort and grinning. Sam saw the grin and raised an eyebrow. The only reply she got was a snigger.  
  
The Colonel sat at a nearby table, dissecting a custard tart with extreme diligence but also listening to what the other two were saying. If he had to step in, he'd rather it be sooner than later. Jonas was commenting on the latest thing she had in her lab, complimenting in all the right places. He even refilled Carter's glass with water mroe often than he should have.  
  
Sam discreetly motioned towards Jack with her head,  
  
"The weather is a bit temperamental today. I wonder what's caused it."  
  
"Ah. . ." Jonas said seriously, "It must be the increased electrical activity in the lower atmosphere."  
  
Jack choked on his custard, wondering if he'd just heard right. Chemistry indeed! Sam bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing as Jonas offered the Colonel a glass of water. O'Neill took it and sipped slowly, not at all aware that the previous comments had been made about him. He waved a hand indifferently as they continued to glance at him,  
  
"Don't mind me, I'm just the chaperone."  
  
Jonas snorted with laughter,  
  
"What made you think we needed a chaperone?"  
  
"You were just getting a little cosy," Jack put his feet up on another empty table, "There are regulations to this sort of thing."  
  
Sam gave Jonas a can-you-belive-he's-doing-this look, knowing that Quinn didn't feel about her in that way. Her companion shrugged and winked at the same time, wearing the mask of innocence. Jonas waited a moment then challenged,  
  
"Truth or dare, Sam?"  
  
O'Neill was surprised that Jonas called her by her name. He couldn't think of anyone else that did besides Dr Frasier. He didn't at all like where this was going and wondered why he even bothered. Sam smiled at Jonas for an infuritating amount of time before answering,  
  
"Dare - and nothing to do with coffee."  
  
"That's too hard!" Jonas exclaimed.  
  
"If you can't do it. . ."  
  
Jack scowled at Carter's playful tone. He watched as Jonas whispered something in Sam's ear and her mouth dropped open. The Major whacked her companion across the head gently,  
  
"Jonas Quinn! That is completely unorthodox!"  
  
The accused feigned a startled look,  
  
"Who, me? Never!"  
  
They both laughed and got up from the table, clearing away their mess. O'Neill demanded,  
  
"And where do you think you two are going?"  
  
"The lab," Sam, replied simply, "As you say, sir, we have some chemistry to discuss."  
  
Jack was at first too furious to do anything and just watched them leave the cafeteria. Why hadn't he stepped in before it had gotten out of hand? He got to his feet - if he didn't stop Jonas. . .He chose not to think about it.  
  
~~~  
  
"Jonas, I don't think you played this fair," Sam grinned despite herself, "He's probably going to think we're an item or something."  
  
Jonas held up his hands in a peace gesture,  
  
"You said it, not me. Are you sure you don't want to back out?"  
  
Sam looked over her shoulder at him as she turned down a corridor to her lab,  
  
"I never back out of a dare."  
  
~~~  
  
Jack O'Neill burst into his 2IC's lab at a run and nearly toppled over. He looked around quickly for Jonas and only found Samantha Carter bent over her work. She turned and asked lightly,  
  
"What can I do for you, sir?"  
  
"Nothing, it's all peachy," The Colonel replied gruffly, "Where's Jonas?"  
  
Sam smiled apologetically,  
  
"Around the corner, I assume, to see that his dare is carried out."  
  
Jack just stared at her, trying to comprehend what was going on. Finally, he said tentatively,  
  
"What dare is that?"  
  
Major Carter crossed the distance between them and kissed him on the check.  
  
"Is that even allowed?" O'Neill demanded.  
  
Sam winked and walked off towards what she had been working on before,  
  
"The regulations do permit a little flirtatious behaviour, sir. I do believe you're intruding on my lab time, by the way."  
  
Taking the hint, Jack retreated outside where he found Jonas Quinn who had been listening avidly. The Colonel coughed into his hand and began walking away. The newcomer hurried off after him in all eagerness and only managed to catch up at the lift.  
  
"Sir," Jonas watched the lift doors open, "Mind me for being disappointed, but couldn't it have been a little more than that?"  
  
Jack looked around shiftily for a moment, then smiled,  
  
"There are too many cameras around here."  
  
It was only after the lift doors shut that Jonas realised that the Colonel hadn't snapped at him once. 


End file.
